| Sunday, December 24th, 2006 |
| 5:22 am |
BTW MY LAST TWO ENTRIES WERE A MONTH APART AND AT ALMOST THE EXACT SAME TIME !!!(by one minute)!!!!!! except the one that matches the last one i made private the morning after because i am creepy and awkward. |
| Saturday, November 26th, 2005 |
| 12:46 am |
this is supposed to be about kissing boys and girls but the lack of kissing either is just as significant, i believe. i have gone to sleep before 2 every night. i ate almost an entire pumpkin pie! i took TWO bubblebaths. i did not drink. even went to the gym, which hurt. nothing happened although i did watch woody allen's musical "Everybody says I love you" . i laughed even though i was sitting alone in the dark on the couch. i fell in love for a little bit, mostly with ed norton, but it has since passed. goodnight goodnight good night light light goodnight |
| Monday, June 13th, 2005 |
| 2:45 am |
i want to hear the saddest songs ever made. if you know one or two, please tell me. |
| Monday, May 23rd, 2005 |
| 3:54 pm |
things to remember. a list. -we assembled a full size paper skeleton. -she puts her forehead against mine, scrunches up her nose in concentration and says i'm sending you a telepathic message. -in the mornings she puts on her lacoste sunglasses and doesn't take them off (even inside) until the afternoon. -her friends (whom i adore) tried to convince me to stay one more night to have "family dinner". -she vaccumed my mod's kitchen and living room and helped me pack up my entire car. WHO DOES THAT. -we fell asleep watching a movie on quantum physics. -she supposedly has an alter-ego named chip who lives on a boat and only wears boat casual. (she has never been on a boat before) -she stole a bottle of tequila from the smith alumni, got drunk, watched "far from heaven" and cried throughout the entire film while working "door watch" for smith reunion. -we walked around all the old northampton alleyways at midnight and wandered around the historic northampton gardens. -her favorite movie is boondock saints. for some reason i think this is really funny. -she asked me to stay one more day but i couldn't. then i changed my mind but by that time i was already in new jersey. gosh. that's sad. |
| Wednesday, March 16th, 2005 |
| 4:11 pm |
please remind this to me if i think an alien fucked me up the butt (for real)
i am so dead oh also today i told my psychiatrist sometimes right before i fall asleep i have these crazy images of fetus aliens and gremlins and scary clown faces and he was all oh yeah, that's a weird phenomenom called hypnagogic hallucinations where people see demons it's very rare and most people who have it are narcoleptic ummmmm did you know that most alien abduction "cases" come from hypnagogic hallucinations? p.s. gosh i post a lot and gosh i'm so silly off amphetamines!!! Current Mood: DEMONNSSCurrent Music: DEMONS |
| Thursday, March 3rd, 2005 |
| 3:54 am |
i'm sick of his resentment. why should i try when he still wants to spit in my face. i can't make everybody happy its okay. its okay. i can't make everybody happy. its okay i can't make everybody happy. its okay its okay its okay |
| Thursday, February 17th, 2005 |
| 3:09 pm |
NOOOO LEaNDRO NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! |
| 3:02 pm |
oh p.s. ive stopped going to class and instead have been reading books on new art media and installation, lots of sound theory, and a few on william burroughs. his deconstruction of words are amazing, maybe not so much his space travel ideas. and clipping. i like the clipping idea alot. if anyone would like to talk to me about the above things, i would like the intellectual stimulation, thank you. and p.p.s two mornings ago i woke up at 112 pounds and realized everything had shrunk so in order to revive my womanly curves i am on a burrito a day diet. so far i'm at day 3 and holding strong. |
| Saturday, February 5th, 2005 |
| 1:27 pm |
scott jackson (and others) have informed me there is a rumor going around campus that i am signed to k records/that k records is interested in me and has contacted me. i asked scott jackson if that means people think I'm cool and he said yes yes it does. whoever started this rumor: i love you so much, keep up the good work. |
| Saturday, January 22nd, 2005 |
| 10:26 pm |
i didn't want to open it because i was afraid it would be too angry and i AM ALREADY DOWN AND OUT GODAMMIT. but it wasn't. it was beautiful and sad and i didn't know my heart could break more than once, from more than one person. |
| Thursday, January 20th, 2005 |
| 2:33 am |
i can't wait to be a low-life slut i can't wait to be a low life slut i can't wait i can't wait to be a low life slut i can't wait to be a low life slut |
| Tuesday, January 18th, 2005 |
| 11:57 am |
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| 11:42 am |
i need to take my medication or i might kill myself.
due to the fact that brendan has rejected me i have had to partake in what some may call soul-seeking. i came to two fairly different conclusions. one that i suck and should die and am worthless and hate myself hate myself. the other that i am absolutely amazing and beautiful and have pegged the entire universe. like the whole world is a big joke and i can achieve anything i want because i know the inside joke. i hate the word achieve. oh god throw up. last night i drank too much wine. today i am moving out and into enfield all by myself in a big tower. i need to start meeting new people because the ones i have here don't love me anymore. the thought of kissing other boys kind of makes me sick though. boys are gross. Current Mood: this is where i get pissed.Current Music: that boy sleeping on the couch has got to fucking wake up. |
| Sunday, January 16th, 2005 |
| 3:19 am |
jocelin is smart when she says she will not touch the internet for the weekend. i of course, have had a little too much to drink so cannot control my animalistic urges to check livejournal. there are strawberries stuck in my teeth. dried strawberries from a mystery box of cereal sitting on brendan's desk. he is sleeping and there is static on the tv making a high pitched tone. |
| Friday, January 14th, 2005 |
| 1:21 am |
godamn i hate manipulative bitches. heathens of the world. HEATHENS YOU ARE. i have a callous that swelled in size on my fingertip. but because i am afraid of almost everything i will not pop it with a pin. needle. i can feel my heartbeat through than and brendan cut out stencils of sunflowers on the floor of the living room tonight while i sat on the rocking chair and watched. and played a little guitar but then got self-conscious and left. wrapped up in a bubble. some mistakes are so pretty. yellow green yellow green white space. time for shower sleep and then tomorrow morningg |
| Thursday, December 30th, 2004 |
| 2:18 am |
dear diary, i can't sleep anymore. in order to make myself get to bed at a decent hour i drink too much wine so my eyelids are forced to close. i also drink a bottle of water right after to make surei keep myself hydrated but that makes me get up at six in the morning and pee and i hear scary sounds and can't curl up back in bed the way i'd like to. i think androgyny is fucking sexy. i'm also right off my period and therefore need lots of sex but can't have any until january second. what the fuck!!! |
| Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004 |
| 1:42 am |
nicole is pretty. so is interpreter of maladies. my headache is not and neither is the fact i have to get up at 9oclock in the morning tomorrow and exercise. i am going through puberty again i think. i have pimples on my forehead. and my new haircut looks exactly like one of the dudes from SPINAL TAP. i miss brendee a lot. the x's on my hand have not yet come off. reading is my current passion. 900 pages this break, so far. words words words. |
| Thursday, December 9th, 2004 |
| 1:18 am |
i have been doing good things lately like sleeping and reading fashion magazines. i make music too. and drink a glass of red wine before bed. love me love me love me love me okay? Current Mood: i just farted. |
| Saturday, November 20th, 2004 |
| 12:49 pm |
there is something peculiar on my neck.
a 40oz later i found myself at the queer alliance party in a black bra and pirate panties. oh god oh god oh god. i kept staring at people i knew that i didn't want to see and then realized um i'm drunk and need to go home. Current Mood: (which was scary)Current Music: my modmates rocked the boxerbriefs |
| Monday, November 15th, 2004 |
| 11:13 am |
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